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Members Only - Full Episode - Season 2. Ep 0. 8The political world is watching,Bannon. We need to make surethe President- elect hasa smooth transition.
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All indications arethat his transitionis going to be fine. We're just doingsome finishing touches,but everythingwent well. You can see him nowif you like. I'll go.[ Clears throat ][ Air hissing ]Well, do I lookpresidential? Honestly, you look. They really worked onmy stank face. Look - - Whenever I don't knowwhat people are talking about,I can just do this.
Wait, look - - do this. This is - -This is my stank face. It's like I'm not listeningto you, see? They did a really good jobon my stank lips. It's anamazing transition. Now I feel readyto take care of businessand do what really matters.
In just a minute. I'm gonna dothe UV rays a bit longer. Can I help you? Hello, I understand that you'retrying to get to Mars. This ismy girlfriend, Heidi. She's really smartand really funny. Okay. We've given upsocial media,and we'd like to besomewhereas far from the Internetas possible.
Is it true Mars would havereally shitty Wi- Fi? That'd bean understatement, yes. Well, we'd like to go. We can't toleratethis world anymore,and we'd like to talk towhoever we canabout getting to Marsas soon as possible, please.
Uh- huh. Take a numberand join the others. What others?[ Garbled and autotuned ]♪ We are the.. What the [bleep]dude?!
A lot of people wantto leave the planet right now. Aw, God damn it. Is that Cher?!♪ Do you believethe world, oh ♪How the [bleep] did this happen?[ Knock on door ]Uh, sorry, PC Principal, butsomeone wants to speak with you. I told you to leave me alone,Mackey. I'm not in the mood. But - - But, sir..
So sorry for the intrusion. You're not too busy,I hope. Uh, n- not at all. Please, uh, have a seat,Mr. Garrison. Excuse me? Uh, please have a seat,Mister.. President. That's better, bitch.
Certainly want to, uh,congratulate youon the election. Do you remember the dayyou fired me, PC Principal? Watch Natalee Holloway Youtube. I know we've hadsome differences, uh - -I was upsetbecause a bunch of immigrantswere changing my class,and I believe your response wasthat I needed to goand learn their language,be more open- minded. I'm sorry that you're positionhere at the schoolwas terminated. Are you really? Are you really sorry? Because you see, PC Principal,you helped create me. You insisted that I was a bigot,that I was an intolerant relicleft over from another time.
But now.. I'm your president. And if there's one thing. I've learnedabout becoming President,it's that your penis can getreally dry. When all the skin on your penisis drying outfrom working so hardto get elected,there's only one thingthat can fix it, isn't there? Saliva.. from a good friendwho once doubted you.
I need you to fix my problem,PC Principal,so that we can beeven- stevens. What do you say, buddy? Oh, 'member when it fellin her drink? I 'member!'Member when. Han shot Greedo? Sure,I 'member Greedo.[ Chuckles ]I 'member Greedo.'Member?
What's the password,'member? Yeah, I 'member. You 'member? I 'member.[ Indistinct conversationsand "'member"ing ][ Chuckles ]'Member this place? Sure, I 'member.'Memberthe Tantive IV? Oh! I love that ship! Hi, it's us!'Member?!
Us who? I don't 'member. We did the thingwith throwing Mickeyin the drink,'member? Oh, sure, I 'member.
That's 'cause of yous,we won the election. Yeah, yeah, 'member? Waiter, round of drinksfor our heroes here, 'member?
I 'member! You done goodpoisoning the lady's drink. Now our man is in office,'member? But I still have things.
I need you to do.[ Chuckles ]I 'member. Please! You have tolet me out of here! Skankhunt, stop. Troll Hunter: Yes, please. You're makinga very jackass of yourself. Well, well,what do we have here? Looks likea little troll party.
You Danish pricks,you tricked us! We didn't trick you,your own government did. They thoughtif they handed you over to us,we would agree not to go forwardwith the Troll Trace program.
You can'thold people prisoner. I haven't done anything. People are gonna belooking for me!
By all means.. contact whoever you want. Of course, you'll have totell them why you're here. What are you gonnado with us?
We're going to use youto set the world on fire. When the servers go online,there will be panic, chaos,and war. And from the ashes,a new world will rise - -a world where everyone ishappy and a- singingand has a- no secrets - -like Denmark! You think you can turn countriesof the world against each other?
Our President will neverlet that happen. Hey, everybody![ Vocalizes"Hail to the Chief" ]Guess who's here. It's the Presidentof the United [bleep] States.[ Feedback ]Oh, it's been a whilesince I've heard from you guys.
Hi, Janice. Hello, Stephen. Mr. President. I was just, you know,passing throughthe old neighborhoodthinking about what laws. I might get rid of,when suddenly out of nowhere,my penis got really dry. You know if they have anythingat this store for a dry dick? Huh? No? You guys can'tthink of anything? Oh, I know. What about Eduardo Hernandez? I believe it was Eduardowho told me.
I couldn't double- bagmy grocerieseven though he's from[bleep] Guatemala. Well, what do youthink now, Eduardo? You want to double- bagsomething else?[ Cellphone rings ][ Cellphone beeps ]This is the President. Sir, we need youat the Pentagon. It's a matterof national security.
Oh, really? I'm kind of busyright now, geez. Sir, the Danish havereleased a statement. I'm afraid we may begoing to war. War?[ Gunfire ]Yep. Copy that.[ Computer chimes ]Ike! Ike, buddy,can you hear me? I need youto do something, okay?
Daddy needs your help. I need you to go to your browserand sign on to the schoolmessage board, okay? Can you do that for me?
The school message boardand then log in. Lower- case "s," "skankhunt. You got it? Wow. Wow, what? He's gonna have his sonsign in and troll for him.
If Skankhunt is stillout there trolling,then they havethe wrong guy, get it? It's calledusing your brain, fatso! So, they'llblame your kid?
Nobody caresif a kid trolls. What are they gonna do?
Get a slap on the wrist? Didn't you hearwhat that guy said? They're gonna set countriesagainst each other. We haveway bigger problems.
You don't knowmy [bleep] wife. Ike, you got it? Great, pal. Okay, now I need you to go tothe comments section, okay,and type in "You shouldall get raped by gorillas."You got that, pal? Ike, "You shouldall get raped by gorillas."Come on, we havea lot work to do here. You really think that this iswhat we should do, babe? I'm gonna miss everyone.
I know. But it'll be worth it, babe. We'll be left aloneto make our new world better. Butters: Hey, Eric! What the hellare you doing here? Well, I want to getthe [bleep] off this planet,but they told me. I had to take a number. Oh, no, no, no,you're a male chauvinistsexist pig, Butters.
You don't get to go to Mars. No, you don't understand. I've see the light. I'm a changed man. I thought boyswere being treated unfairly,but now I knowshit's aboutto get a lot worse. Here we are. Oh, yeah! I 'member. Come on, everybody,'member?[ Indistinct talking ]- 'Member snowspeeders?- Yeah, I 'member.'Member not hearing?'Member the invasion of Hoth?[ Chuckles ]'Member "You rebel scum"?- I 'member.
Oh, 'memberthe rebel transports?- "We did it!" 'Member?- Sure, I 'member. What do we do now?- Don't you 'member? Ooh, I 'member. Okay, now make sure the littleworm is in the woman's mouth. You got it? Now I need you to type "You'rea fat retard" in the comments."You're a retard."No, you have to say"a fa retard," Ike! It's a nuance,but it's very important!"You are a fat wee- tard."Ike!
What are you doing?! What he says. It was youall this time! What have you done, Ike?!
Do you have any ideathe damage you've caused? How can my childbe such a monster?[ Cellphone rings ][ Cellphone beeps ]Yes, yes, hello. Hey, sweetheart. How's everything going? You have to come home fromhelping the government, Gerald. I just caught Iketrolling Mrs. Hererra. Are you serious? Yeah! The school troll isour son, Gerald!
You should see all the thingshe's posted on his computer! God dang it! Let me talk to him right now.
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